Saying Goodbye Is Always Heart Breaking
by Danniic66
Summary: One Shot: Having to say goodbye to someone you love and treasure is always heart breaking... Rated K just in case.


I lay on the roof of the caravan and watched with amazement at the stars as they twinkled above me. Only the Gods themselves could have known the view the stars had as they watched us night creatures roam around like shadows under their light and that of the moons. I ran a cold hand through my hair and sighed heavily, a lot had happened in my long life, I had little to no regrets but my one main regret was how I left and the aftermath it had caused to those closest to me. I jumped from the roof and made my way inside the caravan once I knew its occupant had finally fallen into a dreamless sleep. I ran my hand softly over the lid of the coffin and couldn't help but feel the weight of my heart increase by a thousand tonnes, I wished I could throw the lid open and show I was alright but I couldn't; though my heavy heart was willing I found myself powerless to move it.

I followed closely; unseen and unheard as the occupant of the caravan walked into a tall tent, his frame was thin and weak and his soul crushed and broken into tiny pieces and it was all my fault, I needed to keep a close eye on him but I knew I could never comfort or hold him like I truly wanted to. Once inside I watched as he clung to the coat which had been draped over his shoulders and how he cried uncontrollably when he saw his own reflection in a tall mirror. I wanted to run and hug him, comfort and treasure him but again my heart was willing but I didn't have the power to do anything but stay where I was and watch; broken hearted and helpless to do anything to save him from the depth he was falling into.

Eventually he refused to sleep and in time he refused to eat and stopped drinking both blood and water, this was my penance for leaving the way I did, my punishment was to watch as he wasted away to nothing and it was killing me, I never thought it was possible for a heart to weigh so heavy and break a countless number of times and the agony was unbearable. I sat in the darkened corner watching as he sat sobbing in the coffin clung to the coat he had been given, countless people tried to get him to eat or drink but he refused and turned everyone away, his dreamless sleep became nightmare filled and his broken soul was un-healing. Once my heart could take no more I walked around the camp and listened unseen to the people as they spoke about how far into the darkness he had fallen, no one said it was my fault but I knew it was, no one had to tell me something so obvious.

"You shouldn't be here." A voice slowly crept to my ears.

"I have to be this is my punishment, I have to watch this and be powerless to change it." I said from my seat on the caravan roof.

"You weren't forced to be here, you could be free, roaming in the great lands."

"I do not deserve such a thing… I should never have left." I could feel the tears well in my eyes but for once I was unwilling to stop them.

"Did you have an option? You did it to save him; I call that a noble act."

" But how can I leave, there was still so much I wanted to say and do but now I will never get the chance." I wiped the tears which drenched my face away.

"Then tell him now and leave to rest, you don't deserve this."

"Yes I do, it is because I left he is like this."

"No, he is like this because you are still here." The words stuck hard and the anger I felt towards my friend was unbelievable but somewhere deep down I knew he was right. I didn't say a word as I turned and entered the caravan, I didn't need to; Mr. Tall had helped me realise that in me sticking around I was doing more harm than good. For the first night in a long time I walked in to see the coffin lid had not been shut and my breath caught in my throat. His frail body lay still clung to the coat and again my heart broke into more pieces then I thought possible.

"I am sorry." I whispered unable to stop the breaking of my voice as tears spilled down. "I am so very sorry. I need you to know that you are the most important person who has ever stumbled into my long life and though I have had to leave you; I know you are a strong vampire and I know you will do me proud Darren." I lent slowly into the open coffin and kissed him softly on the head, this was my goodbye and though in the future we would be reunited I couldn't stop the heartache I was feeling right now. I didn't want to leave, I never wanted to die in such a way but I did it to save him and if given the chose again I would throw myself upon endless pits of spikes to keep him safe. I rested my head on his and silently prayed for him and for the first time since I died I felt my hands grow warm as I finally accepted that I had to leave, Darren could feel me around and feared I hadn't found peace my presence was killing him and once again I would have to leave to wait for however long for my young apprentice to join me in paradise.

I could feel my heart grow lighter as the warmth of paradise hugged me tightly, I took one final look at Darren and smiled, I knew he would be ok and with my final breath I whispered the words I had wanted to say for years but never could. "I love you."

Darren shot up from his sleep and looked around shocked and confused. "Mr. Crepsley." He whispered to himself as he looked around the room, the tears again started to fall as Darren hauled himself out of Larten's old coffin and hugged his mentor's old red coat and for the first time since he dragged himself out of the tunnels where he watched helpless as Larten was taken from him forever, Darren smiled. "I love you too."


End file.
